“It took him 67 days and one really disgusting batch of pancakes but Marshall had come back from the dead. Because while baseball, strippers and guns can help, the only thing that can really heal a broken heart is time.”
“Ok, yes. It’s a mistake. I know it’s a mistake but there are certain things in life where you know it’s a mistake but you don’t really know it’s a mistake because the only way to really know it’s a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say ‘Yeah, that was a mistake.” So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not. And damn it, I’ve made no mistakes. I’ve done all of this – my life, my relationship, my career – mistake-free.”
“Stewart, don’t get married. Being in a couple is hard and committing, making sacrifices, it’s hard. But if it’s the right person, it’s easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world and if it’s not like that, she’s not the one.”
“Ted, if you wanted to be married by now, you would be. But you’re not and you know why? Because you’re irrationally picky, you’re easily distracted and you’re utterly anhedonic.”
The Olive Theory is based on my friends Marshall and Lily. He hates olives. She loves them. In a weird way, that’s what makes them such a good couple. Perfect balance.
